-There's no ctrl button on Chuck Norris' computer. He's always in control!
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books, he stares them down 'til he gets the information he wants!
-There's no chin under Chuch Norris' beard. There's just another fist.
-Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
-Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there's no signs of life there.
-They once made a Chuck Norris toiletpaper, but it wouldn't take shit from anyone.
-In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
-The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
-If you have five dollars, and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
-Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
-Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
-Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.
-Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
-Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death. He wins fair and square.
-Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling bin.
-Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
-Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
-Chuck Norris died ten years ago. But the Grim reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
-If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken and feels like chicken, but Chuck Norris says it's beef, then it's fucking beef!
-Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
-Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
-Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a lemon.
-Bill gates live in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
-Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
-Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
-M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.
-Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.
-When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
-Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
-When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "Say please".
-Chuck Norris doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.
-Chuck Norris doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
-Chuck Norris cannot predict the future; the future just better fucking do what Chuck Norris says.
-Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
-Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is.
-The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.
-Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.
XD Det finns för många såna här. Men de är jävligt roliga :3
Kanske jag har skrivit några som redan någon skrivit, men de här är mina favoriter iaf. :D Enjoy!
